This is the post that I cannot write because it makes me too nervous to write.

It’s not something structured, there is no headline or even a point. I just don’t know where to start. So i will start with nothing.

(perfectionism - suck it)

I don’t actually know what I want out of this.

This = out of writing or sharing this post, don’t get weird ideas.

I’m not going to say that “I always wanted to write”, I kinda don’t care for writing.

Im not going to say that “I am a cultural strategist writing about intersections of privacy, internet culture, and modern li-” because that feels too polished; too vague and too specific at the same time.

I know I will feel a mix of disappointment and demotivation when I get no likes. No responses. No treats from the algorithm.

(also I always felt like algorithm should be spelled with a “y”, it just has that vibe)

so here are some things I’m going to do.

I will write this. For fucks of it. and because i don’t like feeling caged by the rules and expectations of modern internet. this is me trying to break out of the pattern that was spoon fed to me.

im embarking on a journey of doing exactly this. not polishing myself or what i occupy myself with.

(i will also add random shit i saved on my pinterest lately, and yes full width)

also, hi you!

you might know me in person or through friends

you might know me from photography and fashion world

you might know me from covid skincare

you might know me from hackathons

you might know me from my digital rights advocacy

or you might not know me at all.

(or you know me cause you followed me on insta in 2018 when I was posting hot pics in that case hi im still hot)

but first things first (actually its more of a zig zag working backwards and sporadically but let me pretend to be structured)

i don’t care much about digital privacy.

(yes that thing I created this exact substack for lol)

after 6 months of ai therapy compressed into one prompt, i finally get it:

its a metaphor.

(wowza)

i lacked agency growing up and it influenced the things i care about in life.

(wowza x2)

i want to decide what information i get to have about myself.

i want to decide who i am allowed to be.

i refuse to be governed by someone else’s rules.

i dont want to fit into boxes and even when i did, the parts of me that were successful were the glimpses of actual me that i didn’t polish

i dont want to focus on one thing. i want to express it all. i want to embrace all.

creative direction, digital rights, loving and hating technology, aesthetics, art, writing, adhd (shocker), fashion, leather jackets (yea so i accidentally started another business), sims, wellness, fantasy, design, weird creepy ai videos, everything

because all of them have the same thesis underneath:

it’s all agency. it always has been.

no one cares to read why digital privacy is important. including me, and i write that shit.

but i do care about how easy is it to be myself today, and not perform for anyone else.

whether its an algorythm, a social expectation, fake limitations or

idk.

but im not going to teach you shit.

im not an expert on anything tbh, but i am curious, raw and i make connections in my brain that ai or a lot of other people cannot replicate.

and im balls deep in this weird, random, unstructured pursuit of something. i want to be unapologetically fully myself on the internet and maybe, just maybe, inspire a few people to do the same.

but first we gotta slay the demons.

who gets to decide who you are?

like and follow (🔪) if you wanna hear my unfiltered thoughts on it.

(xoxo gossip girl)